Three wishes

Suppose some all-powerful being decides to give you, of all humans, 3 wishes granted. This will never happen again so the all-powerful being advises you to choose carefully what you really want.

The conditions are:
1. each wish must be expressed as a single sentence with no more than 3 phrases per wish.
2. no wishes that would grant more wishes.
3. no wishes that alter these conditions in any way.
4. you cannot make yourself all-powerful, all knowing etc.

... and any attempt to trick the all-powerful being will probably result in your wish being subverted in some cruel way.

What would you wish for?

admin: I wish the world would be burned to a crisp

I wish I was a more relevant member

I wish I had the ability to teleport wherever I wanted to in the universe

nolongeractiveuser: I kinda think that first wish will destroy you in the process so you wouldn't be able to do the other two wishes. Kind of a weird thing to wish for.

admin: It's better than what I wanted to wish for originally

nolongeractiveuser: What's worse than burning the world to a crisp? Destroying the universe?

Eh, it's racist an hateful, so I won't say it.

nolongeractiveuser: So instead of being racist/hateful, you'd hate on everyone equally by destroying the whole world? Huh?

admin: No.

nolongeractiveuser: Well then explain, 'cause I'm confused.

Actually I don't know if I'd want to hear his explanation...
I'd wish for the ability to pause, forward and rewind time.
I'd wish that I won a globally recognized prize which meant I never had to pay for anything.
I'd reserve the last wish to use to revert everything back the way it was in case I stuffed It all up.

nzlockie: Actually ... I'd do the same as you with my third wish.

I wish tacos would fly

I wish fritos didn't taste so salty

I wish foods didn't have all those nasty preservatives.

nolongeractiveuser: That's somewhat more sensible. Interesting the things that are really important to you.

admin: I'm jk. If I had to wish for something, it'd be to teleport wherever in the universe I want.

admin: 1) Vaultz Locking Mobile Wheelie Chest
2) Better debate suits
3) Abilities to win all debate/speech tournaments ever.

Pinkie: You have debate suits?

admin: Read my bio? You can't just go to tournaments without a suit! Dude?

Pinkie: Well then I'll reconsider debate.

nolongeractiveuser: Everyone looks good in suits.

HEY LET'S DEBATE LARS VS. TESTER!!!

Pinkie: No. I look terrible.